It's St. Melvinus Day!

Since it seems like everyone appreciates random days during the year in which you're allowed and even expected to do stupid things, I'm going to get in on the action and declare February 15 St. Melvinus Day. On St. Melvinus Day, it's common for people to buy fly swatters shaped like hands and greet everyone by exchanging a "high-fly-swatter-five", in which people swat each other's hand-shaped fly swatters and yell "SHOOFLY!". I chose the name St. Melvinus because he's the patron saint of fly swatters.

I am, of course, facetiously decrying the holder of the Year's Second Most Stupid Holiday Award, Valentine's Day (second to Hallowe'en). Once again my point is proven that most secular (and some Christian) holidays now have become completely separate from their original meaning and are now maintained solely so that Hallmark and various other companies can make more money. Let's forget for a minute that the idea of singling out one day during the year, when you're supposed to get all lovey-dovey for no good reason, is stupid in and of itself; what makes me even more angry is how something like that has turned into a day during the year when you're expected to BUY STUFF for no good reason. If you buy someone a Valentine's Day gift, what's the message? "I love you"? No, not at all. The message is: "Here's something I bought you 'cos I'm supposed to. I hope you enjoy the forced generosity and possible insincerity that I sprinkled on top."

I feel the same way about Hallowe'en, as well as New Year's (specifically, the practice of making resolutions). Hallowe'en is the worst because, in contrast to Valentine's and New Year's, it singles out a day during the year when you're expected to do something irredeemably stupid; i.e. dress up in a scary costume or give out candy to random kids. There is some merit in doing what you're supposed to on Valentine's and New Year's, but only if done in the right context. You make resolutions at New Year's because you're supposed to. If you make one in, say, April, I'd say you're far more likely to actually mean it. The same applies to Valentine's.

Being on a college campus, Valentine's Day is forced down everyone's throat. Apparently it doesn't bother other people, but when I have something forced down my throat, I gag. So I gag on the idea of Valentine's Day, and I emphatically pour scorn on all celebration thereof, and resolve to stolidly resist partaking in said celebrations, and will henceforth meet any attempt to demean me for not partaking in Valentine's Day celebrations with anger and hate.

Happy St. Melvinus Day! SHOOFLY!